Glee Recap: Sadie Hawkins

Let it be known that one of the things I love most in this world is powerful women. So I should have been going into my viewing of this episode of Glee, which was billed as a “female empowerment” episode, with giddy excitement, right?? WRONG. I will not be fooled by this show.

I know I’m a couple of episodes behind, but I don’t make it a point to watch Glee when it airs right away, because I HAVE A LIFE! (Just kidding, I watch whatever is on NBC live Thursday nights instead because that’s ACTUAL comedy.) The “Sadie Hawkins” episode was full of ridiculousness, so I will recap the most ridiculous parts. I’ve split it into four sections for easy access.

goodwillhuntingSorry, gratuitous photo of Darren Criss lookin’ smart.

THE ASKING

The whole Sadie Hawkins-theme was supposed to be the “empowering women” bit…because girls are supposed to feel empowered when they can ask guys to dances. (?) I think that was the point. I’m all for women not being submissive in relationships with men, but really?

The only consistent plot line on Glee is that there is no consistent plot line. So naturally, Tina suddenly has a crush on Blaine and is going to ask him to the dance. I understand–Blaine is SO attractive and sweet and obviously the best actor on the show, but don’t be THAT GIRL, Tina.

superstarShe sings “I Don’t Know How to Love Him,” which makes me think Darren Criss would actually be pretty great in the title role of Jesus Christ Superstar. Blaine says no, because he likes MEN, Tina.

Marley asks Jake, and all of the other asking goes as expected in a very boring fashion.

uhhhAnd WHY is she kneeling in front of him???

THE DANCE

The dance has a winter-y, snowflake-y theme, which is nice. My high school Sadie Hawkins dances were always Country-themed, which I could appreciate because I preferred to wear jeans to any occasion. The boys sing “No Scrubs,” and there are white boys with headset microphones, so obviously I ignore it.

poo

The girls perform “Locked Out of Heaven” by Bruno Mars, featuring the lyric, “Your sex takes me to paradise,” which in the world of Glee is TOTALLY appropriate at a high school dance.

‘ROIDS

Now, here’s where things get really crazy. Sam has found proof that the Warblers have been taking steroids TO BECOME BETTER AT SHOW CHOIR which just makes no sense whatsoever and is so ridiculously stupid that I can’t even comment on it any more.

KURT AND RACHEL AKA TOTALLY UNRELATED TO THE REST OF THE EPISODE, BUT ALSO A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE EPISODE.

Over in Brooklyn, Kurt is stressing about not having any friends, and Rachel fake-comforts him while actually being totally unsympathetic. She apparently doesn’t remember that a few months ago she was completely alone in New York and crying on the phone to Kurt and then he came and moved to New York and was her only friend. She’s also telling him not to join the Adam’s Apples, NYADA’s show choir, because it’s geeky and she apparently forgot everything Mr. Schu ever taught her about being yourself and doing what you love without caring what other people think! Sorry, long-winded rant. And on second thought, it’s probably best to forget everything Mr. Schu says.

ripoff

Nevertheless, Kurt goes see the Adam’s Apples perform, because the co-founder/leader is cute and has a British accent, which would be reason enough for me. They do a version of “Baby Got Back” which I thought was absolutely awful until I found out that it was actually a version done by Jonathan Coulton of my beloved Ask Me Another, which they RIPPED OFF from him. Classy.

rachel-aloneMeanwhile, things have been moving quickly for Rachel and Brody. She proclaims to Kurt that she is in love. She explains that things move a lot faster now than they did in high school, which I would believe except that she was ready to get married to a guy she’d been with for less than two years while she was in high school, which kind of seems like moving quickly. Rachel throws an absolute hissy fit when Brody is 45 minutes late to a dinner she has cooked for them, but gets over it very quickly when he says sweet words and then ASKS HIM TO MOVE IN. I would say this is sort of outrageous, but once again, the high school engagement.

Other things happened that apparently didn’t enrage me enough to post on here. The low-light for me was the fact that, after the girls had drawn up the courage to ask some dudes to dance, they were suddenly cured of all self-doubt. Because having a man want you is enough to make you feel valued. COME. ON. Has Beyonce taught you nothing!?

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