Oh, Glee

Glee has the ability to be so strange and unreal in the craziest ways possible, and yet I don’t stop watching. I know it’s supposed to be funny in a goofy way, but sometimes (often) it goes too far. But I keep watching and I feel this weird need to point out what could and could not actually happen in a high school, per my opinion.

I’ll comment on the last episodes, because, let’s be real, I never got around to it before.

Let’s start with “Big Brother.”

Possible:

  • Even though I’m highly offended by Quinn oh-so-rudely GUARANTEEING the club that she will be walking in no time like being in a wheelchair is stopping her life from happening (in front of Artie, who will NEVER walk again), I love the scene where Artie encourages her to wheel up the steepest ramp in Lima. Artie is so underrated.
  • Mercedes gets p*ssed because Sue takes away her cell phone in the middle of her turn on Draw Something. (On the ridiculous side, Sue throws and breaks said cellphone.)
  • Puck plans to start a pool cleaning business after high school. FINALLY, one of these kids has a realistic dream!!!
  • Cooper: “Your moves lacked a theme.” Blaine’s response: “My theme was dancing.”
  • Cooper Anderson. Like Anderson Cooper. I love that.

Wiggity Wack:

  • Quinn conveniently turns the accident into an anti-texting-while-driving sidenote, even going so far as to stop Finn from texting while walking in the hallway. She basically tells him this is the gateway drug to texting and driving, and we know Finn is dumb enough to think he got her pregnant without actually sleeping with her, so he vehemently agrees.
  • Principal Figgins promotes Roz to co-head coach of the Cheerios, because Sue is pregnant?? There’s a lawsuit somewhere in there.
  • The kids really get into Blaine’s brother Cooper’s Master Acting class which I know is supposed to be funny, but just makes everyone look like even bigger idiots.
  • Blaine sings “Somebody That I Used to Know.” To his brother.
“Saturday Night Glee-ver”

Possible:

  • Jesse St. James is the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, which is REALISTIC because lots of great performers from high school glee clubs go on to become glee club coaches. Also, I love Jonathan Groff, so anything is possible for him if it keeps him on the show.
  • That’s the only realistic thing I could find.

Wiggity Wack:

  • Mr. Schu decides a Saturday Night Fever-style suit will be motivation for the Glee Club to perform the movie’s songs. Because all high schoolers enjoy wearing white bell-bottomed suits.
  • The entire “theme” of this episode, if you can call it that, is encouraging the kids to figure out what their dreams are, and then follow said dreams. I’m all about dream following (I’m following mine), but they ALL want to be singers/actors/dancers/famous/infamous. This is crazy. Why not give them some direction toward a fulfilling, achievable goal, Will? When I was 9 I wanted to be a pop star, but that wasn’t a realistic life goal!
  • Mrs Schu: Will: “This is your game, your life. And, guess what, time is running out.” You’re a senior in high school. Life ends soon.
  • And another thing, who says you have to have the rest of your life figured out when you’re a senior in high school?? Lord knows I changed my mind. What a discouraging message to send to kids.
  • Mr. Schu announces that Santana’s performance of “If I Can’t Have You” is about marriage equality, which is great and all, except uh, that’s not the message she was sending. Mr. Schu is trying so hard to make things the way he wants them.
  • Brittany uploads a sex tape of her and Santana, and administration doesn’t seem to care at all.

“Dance With Somebody”

Possible:

  • Mercedes, Rachel, Santana, and Kurt sing an a cappella version of “How Will I Know” that actually sounds like something a choir would sing! And it’s really beautiful!
  • Brittany would totally cover “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” BUT it should have been exclusively Santana singing, and Brittany ONLY dancing. Please.
  • Blaine and Kurt are one of my favorite couples, and I’m glad they get to flesh out their relationship a little more instead of just letting Blaine sing a million songs and ignore the fact that these two are dating and have problems that are much more interesting than any of Finn and Rachel’s ridiculous arguments. Kurt also points out that Blaine has been the golden boy of the choir recently, whereas Kurt, who was one of its original members, has been left behind. It may be petty, but it makes sense that he would point this out.
  • The performance of “Your Love is My Love” was trying really hard to be a “We Are Young” moment, and while it fell sort of short, I would love to sing this song with a glee club.

Wiggity Wack:

  • There is a candle burning in a locker/Whitney Houston shrine. Fire hazard.
  • It’s only been a couple of months since Whitney’s death, and while it makes total sense to me that Glee would do a tribute episode, it would have made more sense if they had worked out the details a little more. Instead, they’ve made it a metaphor (or have made Will make it into a metaphor) for their fear of leaving high school. I don’t get the connection here.
  • Quinn and Joe sing “Saving All My Love For You,” which is a great song, but he is pretty devout and this song is about adultery, so I’m confused. I’m confused as to whether or not I am supposed to cheer that he wants to give up his faith to “be with” Quinn, but I just can’t do that. Can’t he be a Christian and still be with her? I’m hoping they don’t drop this storyline next week, because for some reason I want things to work out for him.
  • Will wants to move up the wedding date to May because he’s so afraid the New Directions kids won’t come back to sing at the wedding! As a teacher, you kind of have to realize that kids leave high school at some point. Get a grip, Will. And get a grip, Glee writers.
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