Ridiculous Beginnings

Last night was the Season 4 premiere of 90210. And of course, I watched so you didn’t have to!

The episode began with tying up loose ends aka getting rid of plot lines they didn’t feel like continuing this season. Marla’s family is contesting Marla’s will, meaning Annie gets no  inheritance, so she can’t afford to go to Carnegie Mellon or send Dixon to Pepperdine; Naomi turns out not to be pregnant and Max moves away, making Naomi single and free to be characteristically shallow and annoying. So basically, everyone is cosmically and wonderfully forced to stay in the Beverly Hills area!

Let me fill you in on what’s going on in this picture:

Ivy and Raj are being cute and married and (surprisingly) the only ones on the show I actually have any real fondness for. Silver is wearing an above-the-belly-button Maxi Skirt and bikini top to a beach party. Navid is showing off his new haircut, which is really just the same haircut he had before, only now he is parting it to the side. I am actually kind of loving it because I am always asking my boyfriend to part his hair to the side so I’m obligated to say I like all men’s hair that way. Naomi and Annie are being weird and boring as always. Teddy is, quite symbolically, forced to stand outside the group/tent area. And Dixon is lounging around in the most adorable pair of swim trunks, waiting for the writers to give him a love interest.

And where is Adrianna? In Africa, apparently, on what I’m presuming was some sort of publicity mission, or could have been a genuine goodwill sort of journey after last season’s guilt-ridden almost-suicide-attempt. My roommate/sister seemed to have forgotten what all that was about until she, um, remembered.

MY SISTER: Oh yeah, she switched out her [Silver’s] pills. That was some low down dirty sh*t, bro.

Thanks for the commentary.

Anyway, blah blah blah things were predictable and mediocre. In this photo, the girls are representing the emotions confusion (Naomi), boredom (Silver), and terror (Annie). Liam is walking toward Annie, dressed in a tuxedo, followed by what I at first thought was a mariachi band but turned out to be a more sophisticated group of string instrument playing musicians, and asking Annie to marry him. While it’s better than the first proposal (earlier in the episode, when he showed up out of nowhere, slapped a ring box on the hood of her car and declared, “Let’s do this”), it is still a bit rash. Teddy tried to talk some sense into him, pointing out that he didn’t call her all summer (MY SISTER: “Oh, sensitive gay.”) Thank God she had the right mind to say no. Not all characters on this show are so clear-thinking.

But wait!

OMG Adrianna is back! Someone give this girl a decent plotline. Other than that, not much happened, except that Dixon wore this shirt:

And Ivy is holding a candle. Tune in next week, or if you have any good sense and/or a life, don’t!

{photos via}
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