It’s Never Too Hot

It’s back! The new season of Gossip Girl premiered tonight, and I’m here with your recap of the episode’s most important (or ridiculous) events!

The episode didn’t provide us with much more than was in the promos, but let’s begin by catching up on how the Upper East Siders have been spending their summers…

My Favorite Couple

Blair and Chuck have been doing their best to keep the spark alive…by playing a little pretend cheating game. Chuck lures in the unsuspecting girl and at the last moment, Blair walks in to “catch” the duo participating in almost-risky behavior. I guess…whatever turns you on? Dan, Jenny, and Eric spent their summer in the Hamptons, while Serena was off in Europe, popping up in compromising situations all over the tabloids under the guise that she was on a spiritual journey. Everyone seems shocked, but, come on, she’s done worse. Vanessa and Nate’s own platonic European vacation ended up with Nate hitching a ride (um, I mean, helicopter) back to the city with a new lady.

Secret Romance

That new lady in question is Bree Buckley, family member of the archnemisis of the Archibald/Vanderbilt clan. Meanwhile, at the polo match in Greenwich (have I mentioned I LOVE this show?), Dan and Blair have joined forces to figure out what’s up with Serena. In a logical turn of events, Serena speeds off on a team member’s horse to avoid confrontation. Turns out Serena spent her summer desperately trying to be featured in tabloids in order to win her father’s attention. And all of this was with the help of Carter Basin (remember him?), who ends up doing the dirty in the woods with Serena.

Into The Woods

Back on the UES, Blair and Chuck come to the conclusion that they don’t always have to play games…well, games involving other people that is. Apparently they’re still into role play. Whatever keeps my favorite couple going, I support! And what about Vanessa, you ask? (Why are you asking that? No one cares about Vanessa.) She’s admonishing Dan for becoming a penthouse-resider and cozying up to the (secret) illegitamate son of Rufus and Lilly. And, judging by her tangled, dreadlock-type hairdo, it appears she forgot her brush while overseas.

So what did you think of this week’s episode? I can’t promise as comprehensive a review as this for every episode, but I figured the premiere was a special occasion. Are you as excited as I am for all my favorite fictional New Yorkers to begin college?

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