Three Things I Learned from Monday Night TV

I actually watched my usual Monday night television shows today instead of last night, because I was busy last night. But I learned some interesting lessons. Television can be incredibly informative. Here is what I learned from Monday night’s episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, and The Hills:

1. Jesus invented the “men should wait three days to call a woman they’re interested in” rule.

Barney: Legendary Giver of Knowledge

Ted: The three days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?

Barney: Jesus.

Marshall: Don’t do this. Not with Jesus.

Barney: Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait three days thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard that he died. It’d be all, “Hey, Jesus, what up?” And Jesus would probably be like, “What up?? I died yesterday.” And then they’d be all, “Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude.” And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle. And then the dude would be like, “Ok, whatever you say, bro.”…And he’s not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody’s so busy, doing chores, working the loom, trimming their beards; No, he waits the exact right number of days–three.

2. If you’re teenage billionaire, you can get away with wearing a velour sweatsuit, a polo, and an ascot as workout clothes.

Always do as Chuck does

3. If your male friends take a “guy’s trip” to Hawaii, it is a really fun prank to simply go to Hawaii and crash their party.

Trip Crashers

Because hey, can’t we all just plan and take spontaneous trips to Hawaii as jokes?

Also this week on The Hills, Heidi’s ex-boyfriend Colby and his current girlfriend come to Los Angeles on vacation. Spencer’s response to hearing he and Heidi should go to dinner with Colby is, “Should I bring, like, a prayer or something?..Yeah, becuase a lot of people I hang out with go to Bible College.” That was sarcasm, by the way. Spencer is later shocked by the fact that Colby and Colby’s girlfriend don’t drink and are staying in different hotel rooms. Spencer’s question for Colby is: “Are there a lot of you out there?” And when Colby’s girlfriend states, “Just think how nice life would be if everybody just loved each other and listened,” Spencer responds with, “So an imaginary world?” Spencer could clearly benefit from haning out with more Bible College students. Meanwhile, in Hawaii, Brody is convinced to cheat on his girlfriend with Audrina after encouragement from his friends. There is a reason my mom calls The Hills “that show where they’re always drinking”.

(photos via cbs.com/glamour.com/mtv.com)

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Filed under Gossip Girl, TV

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